Saturday, February 2, 2008

Blog 3- Hunter

Cold sweat drips down my sunburnt back as I stalk the fat pig. The sun glimmers in the pigs eyes, he sees me. I jump up, dodging the long tendrils and sharp barbs, breaking through an aromic festoon. The wind rushes through my long hair and dries the sweat on my face. The image of meat is the only thing that keeps me going. It turns a corner, out of sight. I stop and gasp for breath. The opresive heat makes me need water. I find myself making my way back to the beach in search of water. I finally get to the beach and look out at the inscrutable depths of the ocean. Ralph gives me a furtive glance, so I walk over there and ask him for some water, wishing I could flaunt my victory which had unfortunatly not occured. I told Ralph about my wanting to catch a pif before leaving the island, he seemed bewildered by my request. If I were leader I would make everyone help hunt and we would already have meat to last us years. Ralph insists on making huts which aren't going to feed us. I wish the other boys had voted me leader. I could have had so much power. Instead Ralph and that stupid piggy have all the power.

3 comments:

kkaufman said...

Quinn There is such a variety of different images in the part where Jack stalks the pig... the sense of smell,touch, visual, and his thirst. This combination creates a powerful description and it's great.
Kira

mollyb said...

Quinn-

I loved how you opened your journal with an action. There was so much detail in the part where Jack stalks the pig and I think you did a really good job.

srosenstock said...

Cold sweat drips down my sunburnt back as I stalk the fat pig. The sun glimmers in the pigs eyes, he sees me. I jump up, dodging the long tendrils and sharp barbs, breaking through an aromic festoon.

quinn-
I loved this paragraph because it was so descriptive. it gave me a detailed picture in my head and got me hooked to the story.